Surviving Bed Rest with 2 Under 2
You are not weak for needing time to rest.
If you follow my Instagram stories, or my Facebook page, or my private Facebook group, you will already know pieces of my story. Which, by the way, I admire you so much for paying attention to my story!
Here is my story summed up if you are unaware.
**** if you have any triggers in regards to pregnancy and/ or pregnancy loss, I advice you to scroll passed my little blurb, and go directly to the numbered tips!
This is my 4th pregnancy.
I had a miscarriage with baby #3, and I will spare all the details for those of you who are sensitive to this topic.
I knew around 6 weeks that something was just simply off, but couldn’t quite put my finger on it! I felt a little crampy, and extremely sore. My last successful pregnancies basically had no symptoms until labour, so I just felt odd.
At our first ultrasound (8 weeks + 3 days), we found out that I had a small tear. The ultrasound tech was extremely optimistic, and really brushed it off.
She said to live life as if I never knew about it.
I was crampy, in pain, and spotting for the next 6 weeks, and no one would take me seriously.
Side note: I hadn’t yet had my midwives, and just used a basic prenatal clinic in our city.
After weeks of mild cramping and spotting, I remember going out to my mother- in- laws. The whole day I felt as if I was in labour. If you have delivered babies before, you will know exactly what I mean when I say:
“The contractions felt like I was dilated between 5-7cm, if I was in labour.”
I rested for the entire weekend I was at her place, and she ended up keeping my kids for a sleepover so I could get checked out.
I went to the ER, and they quickly did my favourite... (not)... the classic cervical exam where all of your dignity goes out the window. Unfortunately, the doctor barely spoke any English, so I basically had no way of communicating my educated guessed:
The tear either has not healed OR it got bigger
Something to do with my placenta
(Spoiler alert, my condition is actually a tear between the placenta and the uterus, meaning I was 100% right with both of my predictions.
Mama’s ALWAYS know best.
I immediately was referred to an ultrasound for the next day.
I was so nervous for the ultrasound. Having had a miscarriage prior, I thought ALL sorts of horrible thoughts:
What if I’m miscarrying?
What if the heartbeat isn’t there…
What if my placenta ruptured and there is nothing they can do?
I instead focused and prayed to God about it, and it felt like the prayer lasted forever.
But I was instantly relieved of the stress.
The ultrasound lady at the hospital was incredibly kind (different clinic than any of my ultrasounds!). She gave me a disk with at least 10 pictures of my baby that I was growing healthily.
My suspicions were absolutely correct:
“You have a subchorionic bleed, a small tear where your placenta should be completely attached to the uterus. Be sure to rest plenty, and we will know if by your 20 week ultrasound if it is healed.”
If it is not healed, I will officially wear the badge of “High Risk Pregnancy”.
Of course we went through stats.
Miscarriage (17.6% versus 8.9%)
Stillbirth (1.9% versus 0.9%)
Placental abruption (3.6% versus 0.7%)
Slightly higher risk of preterm delivery (13% versus 10%)
30% placental detachment
But that leaves me here today… on modified bed rest, and how I am surviving!
Accept any and all help. Know your support system.
I absolutely hated saying “yes” to the most kind gestures.
“May I sweep and wash the floors for you?”
“Do you need any meals or snacks delivered to you?”
“Can I take the kids for a play day so that you can rest?”
All absolutely incredibly sweet gestures, and my mom guilt always would get the best of me. Don’t pull a “me” move. Say yes, and let them know how thankful you are.
Do not over do it.
On my good days, I would go in FULL blown cleaning mode. You know, mopped floors, scrub the bathtub, do all the laundry, dishes, organize the toys, etc. Then, I would spot and bleed for a few consecutive days, and be in so much pain we could basically only watch movies as a family.
If you are feeling great, continue to pray and be THANKFUL that the cramping (and if the spotting is going away), that you are healing! DO NOT start preparing for your marathon, girlfriend.
Know you are a good mom.
Even when the sunshine is bright outside, the birds are chirping for you to run outside, and you have the urge to take all the kids to the local beach… but you can’t. (At least, not alone.)
You are still a good mom, even with dishes in the sink, toys scattered around, only using the crock pot for meals, and laundry untouched.
You are still loving on your children, and are a wonderful mom.
Start a gratitude journal.
I know… it sounds so lame. But journalling has a way of letting out all of your inner thoughts, dreams, struggles, goals, successes, and problems. I find everything written out helps me figure out how to push through a current struggle, and really evolve!
Pinterest children activities.
Here is my board for super easy DIY, and low mess activities: https://www.pinterest.ca/AdrianneEReelie/childrens-activities/
Limit social media.
Remember, sister, comparing yourself to the mom with the nearly sparkling house, 100% organic and non- GMO baked goods, and looks like an actual model is NOT going to help you feel good about recovering so you can grow your babe some more!
Order your groceries online.
Seriously click the link above for my 5 EASY meal prep tips!
Check out my fav Pinterest board here.
Find an indoor, enclosed playground near you.
I found an amazing little indoor playground, geared for 0-6 year olds.
My kids are 2 and almost 1 as I’m writing this, and knowing there is a place where they can run free, but not escape.
That being said, it is also a very close knit community so I can trust that I don’t have to helicopter in fear of someone swooping my children up. (Side note: I am always watching, but it’s nice to not stress 24/7 in this community centre!)
I hired a babysitter once a week to soully bring me joy.
I know, I can feel some of the eye rolling right now. I get it. It isn’t normal in our culture.
Here me out! I think it is so important that when you are struggling to keep your head above water, feel like a bad mom, and in pain, you deserve to have a couple hours of free time!
Kind of like 11 b).
I hired a babysitter to take the kids for a walk once a week, since I couldn’t.
I felt way less guilt!
I felt like “maybe I could do this and I’m not as bad as a mom as I think.” Although, I KNOW I am a wonderful mom.
Build your faith or spirituality.
I 100% respect that not everyone who follows be believes in God.
But, what I do want to say is this time to build your faith or spirituality can be a key position to truly overcoming your mental, emotional, and even physical hardships!!
I would love to know! What are your tips to surviving bed rest?