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Be The Friend You Wish You Had When Your Babies Were Newborns.

Be The Friend You Wish You Had When Your Babies Were Newborns.

Total confession: I wasn’t the best friend to all my other friends who had babies when I wasn’t a mom yet.

It wasn’t because I didn’t care, or didn’t see the infant as a precious being. It wasn’t because I didn’t think she went through such a transformational experience- mentally, spiritually, and physically. And it wasn’t because I was self centred and made the visit about me.

It was mainly because I had never gone through childbirth, raising a child, or understanding what types of needs she would need met. My mom (thank the Lord) always taught me to:

  • Always bring food to a new mom (baking, cooking, or even fruit + veggies)

  • Always do a quick tidy of her kitchen- dishes are a huge plus

  • Only say positive things + allow her to guide the conversation

  • Pick up cues when you have overstayed your visit. (AKA, do not stay for longer than an hour.)

If my mom taught me all the above, how wasn’t I a good friend to all my other friends who had babies when I wasn’t a mom yet?

I couldn’t resonate with her fully. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, or didn’t try. I didn’t understand how the c- section felt, or what it felt to get stitches inside her.

I couldn’t resonate with why she was struggling with breastfeeding, or maybe that she felt like she got hit by a train.

I couldn’t resonate with why she was randomly crying (I still hugged + held her!), and I didn’t comprehend why women were so emotional after having a baby. Rightfully so, if I may add.


I wasn’t a shitty friend by choice, I just had never experienced what she was going through.


I am sorry I didn’t ask you to slide me your grocery list and debit card during the visit.

I am sorry that I didn’t sweep and mop the floors.

I am sorry I lacked empathy


As mothers, we are taught to as for very little. We are taught to do all the things. We are taught even after birthing a child, it is our job to continue to serve others.

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