Things You Can Control (without being a control freak!)
a journal exercise
I get asked every week: “How do I stop feeling anxious and overwhelmed in life?”
I know exactly what it feels like to be drowning in the middle of school, being a mom, working, and having a social life. It can be exhausting, almost like you can’t get a grip of reality! But the thing to remember is:
you have complete control over your life.
The picture above, of me on the bear statue, was one of the most difficult times I have had in a long time. That was the moment I started applying the list below to my life, and truly got ahold of the reigns!
I have a list below of things that you can control in your life, without being a control freak. I sometimes struggle with “going with the flow” and hustling too hard. This list ALWAYS brings me back to reality. Pull out a pen and your journal, and truly write down all this list, and what applies to your life.
I am here to present to you: Things You Can Control (without being a control freak!)
I strongly encourage you to write the below down and journal about it.
Yes, I know, “blah”.
Do it anyways.
You will not grow if you don’t try.
What you talk about.
Do you talk about other people?
Do you talk about experiences?
Do you talk about your goals and dreams?
Question yourself and the things you talk about.
This is a direct reflection of what you are insecure about, what you are going through.
Remember, you project what you perceive.
What you think about.
Are you challenging yourself, healthily?
Are you thinking about your next move?
What thoughts are reoccurring?
How open minded you are.
Are you open to new ideologies?
Are you judgemental?
Can you accept that you are not always right?
Can you accept there is more than just one right answer?
Every morning, choose positivity. Choose to have a wonderful day.
Do you let the little things tip you over the edge
My fav little script:
You have a cup full of coffee, and someone bumps into you and spills your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee?
“Well because someone bumped into me, of course!”
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
*Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out.*
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which definitely will happen), whatever is inside you will come out.
So, we have to ask ourselves… “What is in my cup?”
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratefulness, peace, and humility?
Or anger, bitterness, harsh words, and reactions?
How seriously you take life.
Can you find the joy in the little things?
Are you able to be mature?
How do you handle tough situations?
Who is in your circle.
Do your people make you feel good?
Do you feel respected?
Do you feel taken care of?
Can you trust them?
What does your gut say about them?
How much effort do you put into yourself?
How much effort do you put into relationships with others?
How much effort do you put into the things you value?
How you personally take things.
Are you often triggered?
If so, by what?
What you believe in.
Do you believe in being a humanist?
What types of world events are you passionate about?
What types of community events are you passionate about?
What your morals + values are.
This topic can be controversial so I am not including examples.
What do you value? Family, friends, education, work, health?
What always comes first?
What always comes last?
How kind you are.
How do you treat those that cannot do anything at all for you?
How do you treat those on their bad days? On their good days?
How do you treat people on your bad days?
What you eat.
You are what you eat! Remember, health is about fueling your body! Occasional treats are totally fine, but remember: clean, unprocessed foods are GREAT! :)
In the grand scheme of life, wanting to be on top of everything and in charge is something we try and strive for. But, what if I told you, having a sense of calmness and being collected, is when you learn to let go and focus on yourself.
Having control in areas your life does not equate to controlling your entire life.
You do get to control your reactions to things that happen outside of your control, however!
I hope this list helps. I found journalling to be the best way to figure out my mess.
What is one thing that grounds you in a time of chaos?